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The Ralph Rant

Obamacare mandates free sex
Ralph Bristol
March 11, 2012

Camera-fly attorney Gloria Allred wants Rush Limbaugh arrested for using derogatory language to describe Sandra Fluke, the femme-a-gogue (Michelle Malkin’s term) who has become the poster-gal for Obamacare’s controversial new “free sex” provision.


Allred found a dormant law in the Florida code that she wants the Palm Beach County State’s Attorney to use against Limbaugh. The statute stipulates that anyone who “speaks of and concerning any woman, married or unmarried, falsely and maliciously imputing to her a want of chastity” is guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree.


Allred is obviously trolling for America’s most wanted client. She said Friday that she has not yet been in touch with  Fluke. “I don’t reach out to women, they reach out to me,” she said. “If she did reach out to me, obviously I would respond.” [hint, hint – I’m surprised she didn’t’ include her phone number with that statement.]


Permit me to anticipate some good questions.


What’s a “camera fly?” 

Camera-fly is a term I invented to describe attorneys who hover around cameras (especially those covering newly created celebrity victims) in order to pick up business.


What’s a “celebrity victim?”

Another invented phrase - to describe a person, previously unknown, who becomes an overnight celebrity by being (or reported by the media to be) a victim of conservative policy or any conservative’s rhetoric.


Why did you refer to the contraception provision as the “free sex” provision of Obamacare? Aren’t you doing the same thing Limbaugh did - accusing the celebrity victim of being a slut?


No, but this is the central question. The term might help people understand the scope of the government power grab contained within Obamacare. I called it the “free sex” provision because it precisely defines the purpose of the new HHS regulation, which is to allow people to have “sex without consequences, including financial consequences,” that is, “free sex.”


As an added bonus, if they can have “free” sex with the help of contraception, and they don’t have to pay for the contraception (The Obamacare regulation forces their employer to supply the contraception) then they don’t even have to pay to insure against the consequences of sex. It allows them to have truly “free” sex.  Well, free to them, but not to their employer. To review: Obamacare would force employers to pay for products to insure their employees can have free sex. Therefore, the “free sex” provision in Obamacare is the most accurate label, and I would encourage others to adopt it.


The passage of a giant new law that gives the Secretary of HHS the power to force employers to pay for their employees to have free sex, is illustrative of the seizure by the federal government of the decision-making powers of American people and businesses – the erosion of freedom and independence, under the Obama vision of government. [Don’t even get me started on the cost!]


No one (not even Nancy Pelosi) knows yet how many more similar government power grabs are lurking within 425,116 words in the Obamacare statutes, and the 2,163,744 words in the associated regulations (so far). It will take years, maybe decades, for all of them to appear, one by one, numbering in the hundreds or thousands, if Obamacare is allowed to survive.


This is not a fight about the morality of contraception, access to contraception, or the health benefits of contraception. It’s a fight about the limits of the federal government to control individual and business personal and financial decisions.  It’s just one more, high-profile battle in the Second War for Independence. And it’s one Republicans must accurately identify if they are to prevail.

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